Wednesday 26 May 2010

Mums having trouble with Sleep and other advice

I want to hear from those mums who feel they just want to get some sleep. Yes sleep. As a mother of four lovely children myself, I find that this topic is often over looked or played down by most people. The endless times, I was told not to worry it gets easier when they are settled in a routine or make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps. Not always easy if you're a person who can't stand your house being untidy and hate doing piles of washing and ironing. It's amazing how much laundry a tiny baby has. If only we had a secret messy room where we could shove everything in, lock the door and a fairy god mother would turn up and all the housework was done! Wouldn't it be great if while you were sleeping someone was doing the housework!

Although well meaning good advice; however what happens when you have more than one small child to look after, how do you rest? Yes, I know that there are executive some mums out there who have really mastered the art of the power nap! but what about those who at times have really suffered from sleep deprivation? lack of sleep can turn you into a monster! Read on.

Here are some tips of my own that I hope will provide some sort of relief. I have also added a few other topics which might be of interest.

I feel it is important that every parent should have a support network of people or person they trust so they are not isolated (isolation can lead to all sorts of problems)let grandparents help out, Try to join a mother & baby/ parent & toddler group, even a mother baby swim club. These are often great places to meet other parents and share advice. Do not allow yourself to become overwhelmed, try and get out daily, if you have too much housework or just to much to do, do a section at a time, organise your workload. Invest in baskets/storage containers with lids or covers on them in order to store laundry and other stuff. Use a room divider to cover up washing rails if you don't have a utility area etc.
Make your days count, even if you jog/walk round the block or to the shops you have still achieved something(keeping fit).

Also it's great if you have someone you trust come round so you can sleep for a few hours and if they are in a similar situation, you may want do a rota and take turns in babysitting( please make sure you do all the right checks, trust and safety is key)

Remember to get your child into a routine very early, so you have "me" time which is usually when babies no longer need to be fed on demand, after this time feeding can go from every 2 hours to every four hours and so on as your baby gets older. I decided early on that my children would all be in bed by 7pm. The routine was bath, feed, story or quite song, bed. (soon my children were literally telling me it was bedtime!)Also avoid giving children sugary drinks or sweet stuff before bed time. Get to know and study your child, babies start to communicate from a very early age, start to listen to their different crying patterns. Be persistent, decide a time and stick to it, get your partner involved, decide on a routine that suits you.

When my children were babies I would take them up stairs to their room away from distractions and work out what was the best way to get them to sleep. For my first child it was very gently rock her crib back n forth (crib had a rocking stand), my other child liked to be held and rocked in my arms or gently patted on the nappy and the others just wanted to sleep in their cot with me just stoking their brows or gently massaging their feet. It's also nice if you have time to massage your child after a bath, it's amazing how many air bubbles you find, its great for a baby who suffers with wind or colic, make sure you speak to you health visitor as at times your child might be on the wrong milk or have a food intolerance.

Please also note that sometimes creating a familiar atmosphere such a night-lights, solar lights gentle music, blankets or even recordings of your tummy, washing machine and Hoover etc played at bed time may also help.

Get Sleep, unwind

If you are also having trouble sleeping when pregnant why not try the following tips: Plan ways de stress; Read a good book(read positive stuff) stop listening to other woman's horror stories, It really helps in the birth process if you are enjoying your pregnancy, this can get rid of tension, don't let fear and worry, anxiety get you down. Dress up, look good, feel good, get some pretty nightwear make the most of what you have. Tell yourself you are going to have a great pregnancy, play positive music, don't watch heavy negative stuff on TV(Extra sensitive when pregnant). Get your partner to give you a massage, Stay off fizzy drinks, salt, coffee, tea or stuff with a lots of sugar and caffeine. Also stay off the rich greasy heavy or spicy foods just before bed time or avoid all together if you can (This also applies to when you are breast feeding, don't forget your baby is feeding on this stuff also) These types of food can cause all sorts of problems. Massage your stomach,talk to your baby in your womb. When you sit, don't cross your ankles, instead move them around in circle like motion(good for circulation)Also if you feel you legs or feet are swollen, sit with your feet up, basically rest when you can. It could also do with fluid retention/blood pressure or other symptoms associated with being pregnant, Please seek medical advice.

Take walks(great form of exercise)and if you can afford it join a fitness gym or club which caters for woman before and after pregnancy( Always seek medical advice beforehand)very good for the brain as well as the body.

Meet up with other mum's: plan days out or even days in.

We started a mother and baby group with the mum's we met at the anti-natal classes, the with the help of the health visitor we formed a rota and took turns to meet in groups and socialize in each other homes and also arranged outings together, we also babysat for each other at times, this went on til our children were of pre-school age. By the end of the a busy day I was ready for sleep!

When resting try placing extra pillows around your side,behind your back, even between your legs to feel more comfortable. A hot water bottle may also help. You may also want to take a small cushion around with you to sit on or to place behind you when you are out and about.

Having a gentle massage with warm oil can sometimes does Wonder's. Have a nice shower or bath(not too hot or steamy or you may feel faint, also stand up gently so as not come over dizzy)

Try and unwind before going to bed: listen to smoothing music, read a book, meditate, sing/read talk to your baby in your womb.
Try and get as much rest as you possibly can, shake worry off.
I literally shook my shoulders when I felt the worry bug taking over, because I knew it wasn't doing any good and never solved anything so why waste time doing it.
Try having a warm drink to relax, have a journal, write down plans, have a to do list.

Money and savings
I would also like to take this time to share with those of you who are on a tight money budget. Most parents want the best for their children, however having children don't come cheap so get your thinking caps on as early as possible. Plan ahead, Learn to discipline your spending, learn the difference between what you want and what you need.

Start saving for your kids before you have them. Put aside a sum of money every week or you may even decide to put money away daily in a piggy bank(thinking about putting as little as a £3 away a day can amount to £1000's every year.) Shop around for good savings accounts for kids or ISA's. Find ways of making extra money before spending e.g car boot sales, online auctions, House clearance sales, babysitting, school runs for older children.

Write down a plan and stick to it.( seek ways to improve it). When buying things it is better to spend on things you can sell on or pass on rather than stuff that is not long lasting and as no value. Also another suggestion is asking relatives n friends to gift money instead of clothes,toys etc(add little cards to birthday or christening invitations stating this.) You can also include both options so no one gets offended.

Another point is if you plan on putting your child in a good nursery school, Research this as early as possible to avoid disappointment, better to get your child's name on the waiting list when you are about six months pregnant in some areas.

Another suggestion is, if you have skills you can use from home to generate extra income such as cooking, cleaning, Baking, sawing, etc why not do this for friends for a small fee. You may even want to take it further, taking up a short course e.g,for those who love cooking a basic food hygiene course is a good start. You may want to look into providing food to local business's.

What ever you choose to do, remember, choose something that you enjoy and have time for it's so much easier getting paid for this kind of work.

I hope this is helpful. If you have any comments/questions or other ideas feel free to share.

Bye for now